I’m back at my folks house in Salinas today. I flew into Monterey yesterday as it was my dad’s final day of a 37 year job at the Defense Language Institute. He officially retired and has now entered the golden years of his life.

37 years. That’s more than a lifetime for some folks.

I remember when it was 1985 when my 5 year old self glared out the windows of our beat up station wagon rattling into Marina from a long journey from Aberdeen, South Dakota. While I had no idea what was going on at that time, my dad and I sat down yesterday and he had caught me up on how things were at that point in our family life.

He had given a speech earlier in the week to his colleagues and students in a farewell ceremony they had prepared for him. In his speech he imparted some wisdom that I wanted to capture here lest I forget tomorrow.

It was about the importance of decisions on the things that matter. In 1985 my father was at a crossroads in his career as a meteorologist. His path at the time meant that he had to either be stationed in places where he had to monitor radar to issue alerts, or go the academic route and work for research and development in hopes of climbing a merit-based ladder for success. As we were moving to Monterey, dad had gone through a few years of the former- where he developed stress-related health conditions from the solitary yet high pressure job of ensuring the weather-focused safety of 11 counties in South Dakota. He had been offered a job as a research assistant at the Naval Postgraduate School in Monterey, and we picked up from Aberdeen, South Dakota, and made for California.

When we had arrived in 1985 though, he ran into a surprise- the lady handling his employment onboarding conveniently misplaced his paperwork, causing a 3 month delay to the start of his employment. That meant 3 months with no pay in a world that was not that friendly to immigrants that did not speak much English at the time. It was a bit of a pickle for my 40 year old dad, looking at his wife and 5 year old me and wondering what to do. And the movers were on their way to our new apartment.

While he was working on figuring a solution out for those 3 months, he went to the the DMV to handle some admin, and was chatting with my mom in native tongue. A nearby lady approached dad and asked, “are you Korean?”

This sparked a series of events that led to dad joining a Korean church in Monterey where he met multiple folks that would change the trajectory of not only his career but our whole family’s. When he visited the church, he had met other Koreans who had various occupations in the area, one of which was to teach the Korean language to US soldiers being deployed overseas. One of them in fact beckoned him to apply given his 3 month employment snafu.

Dad had a decision to make. Either wait it out and continue to pursue the research assistant position, or become a Korean language teacher- NOT what he had studied two masters degrees for, and not what he had envisioned his future to be. He was informed in advance at least that this research position would require extensive travel to Washington DC, Alaska, Vandenberg AFB, and more, and did not guarantee any long term job security. Moreover his health probably would decline along with the health of the family. On the other hand, the offer that came from the DLI was similar, easy working hours, and automatic tenure after 6 months on the job.

He took a critical look at this big fork in the road. Continue a competitive career in meteorology in a field that was largely a white man’s world and drag his family all around the country or leave mom to raise me alone, or take this relatively easy job and stay in one place to raise a family. And the pay was basically the same level.

The choice he made in hindsight is obvious. But I imagine at that time it wasn’t that easy of one to make- to let go of everything you’ve worked so hard for— for what? But when he thought of the family the choice was clear.

What ensued for the balance of my childhood years was being able to grow up in one place, learn piano, make lifelong friends, and be able to spend time with my family. Dad even mentioned back then that all he had to do was teach for 3 hours a day, and the rest of the day was left to his discretion – so he used that time to tend to family duties. I’m sure mom appreciated that at the time.

37 years of doing the same thing though, I’m sure can weigh down on anyone- and dad was sure ready to retire yesterday. It’s not easy driving 2 hours a day in current day Monterey traffic to get to work, especially when you’re 76 years old. As I write this blog this Saturday morning he’s taking his sweet time to get out of bed- normally something he’d do at 3:30am to beat the traffic.

The moral of this story was when it comes to the important decisions, choose wisely. That’s common sense though; I gleaned something else from my chat with dad over a few celebratory Guinnesses. It’s to be open to serendipity and be vigilant for it when it happens- because it probably will and you may miss it if you’re not paying attention. What if that lady hadn’t gone to the DMV that day my dad was there? What if dad didn’t want to go to church? What if the lady at NPS had never misplaced dad’s papers and gave him the 3 month delay? Obviously some are beyond one’s control- but I think there is serendipity when you look for it. I can say there have been certainly a few times in my life where that’s been the case. I’ll save those for another post though.

So, I’m 42 today. I’ve got 2 kids of my own and a happy wife, and my path has been quite different largely in thanks to the decisions of my dad way back when. It’s a different world now, with new good and new bad things, but I think the idea of being ready for when lightning strikes is exciting. There is so much that is possible even now unbeknownst to me, my family- all of us.

It’s been a fun life for our family, and I owe that thanks to a dad who gave up his career aspirations to become a lowly Korean language teacher. It turned out to be the best decision of his life (next to marrying my mom of course), as he in turn was able to not only educate but also influence the minds of thousands of young soldiers in this place that would in turn get deployed all over the world.

And now? He’s going to the backyard to pick some blackberries for me to take back to LA. He’s going to chilllllllllll. And well deserved dad!