I was looking into an interesting term I came across recently, “GD,” or grandiose delusions as a friend had brought it up recently. Here’s a short definition courtesy of Wikipedia:

Grandiose delusions (GD) or delusions of grandeur are a subtype of delusion that occur in patients suffering from a wide range of mental illnesses, including two-thirds of patients in manic state of bipolar disorder, half of those with schizophrenia, patients with the grandiose subtype of delusional disorder, and a substantial portion of those with substance abuse disorders.^[1][2] GDs are characterized by fantastical beliefs that one is famous,omnipotent, wealthy, or otherwise very powerful. The delusions are generally fantastic and typically have a religious, science-fictional or supernaturaltheme. There is a relative lack of research into GD, in contrast to persecutory delusions and auditory hallucinations. About 10% of healthy people experience grandiose thoughts but do not meet full criteria for a diagnosis of GD.^[2]

 

 

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One quick thing to note is the last sentence: About 10% of healthy people experience grandiose thoughts but do not meet full criteria for a diagnosis of GD.^[2]

We’ve all seen it – people who think they’re all that and a bag of chips. For those who actually have wealth and power, it’s called pride. For those who are bluffing, it’s a simply sad state of affairs that the 10% here is describing. I’ve met my fair share of the latter, unfortunately, whether it’s their thought that sitting on their ass will earn them millions of dollars somehow magically, or whether they act rich but are actually broke as a joke. This is delusional, and I’ve seen it in both manic and healthy people.

But, what is it really? Is it the desire to be perceived in a certain way that is so strong that it can impact both mentally impaired and healthy people (obviously in varying degrees, but both impacted nonetheless)? I think this is stronger than any mental disease, personally.

I’ve written on this topic before, but I’ve noticed a theme here. Pride is the #1 thing that destroys everyone. It destroys healthy people, mental people, small, big, fat, skinny, skinny fat, pretty, ugly, poor, rich people all the same. No one likes to be perceived in a negative light. But the temptation to be perceived in a extraordinarily high status – coupled with pride, well… this is a disease that impacts anyone who allows it to. It’s completely voluntary, but typically is the result of thousands of other previous micro decisions that drives a person to be a certain way. In unfortunate cases like some I’ve recently seen, these micro decisions lead to a predisposition to be deceitful in order to attain this perception.

And why is this? One word: pride.

When I see this kind of thing happen around me, my patience wears thin. It’s not because I think such a person is ridiculous – they absolutely are – it’s because I am sad that the person doesn’t think that I would value them as they are, no matter what they own, drive, have sex with, or do for a living for that matter. I’m saddened by the idea that this kind of person has to struggle with their insecurity in their interactions with me. I think sometimes that they must think that they have to live up to some false expectation that I have of them. Then this in turn makes me wonder if I exude the image of myself such that people have to act in a certain way. It’s a vicious cycle in that regard.

However, I know my truth, and it’s that no person around me needs to prove themselves to me – all I ask is for open honesty, and I return the same, plus some depth of vulnerability from my own heart to help prime the pump of discussion for a real relationship or friendship. The friends who know me at this level know the real value of my friendship, and that I will go to the end of the world for them.

But, when deliberate lies happen, it signals mistrust to me. When mistrust happens, this world of real closes up from me, and I don’t ever look back. Not once, not ever. In fact, the person becomes a blacklisted stranger to me, and dropped like a bad habit. I’ve realized this in my 36 years – time is too short to waste on individuals who are not trustworthy, because this time can be dedicated to those who are worth it. The few times I’ve had to do this, I had no issues or regrets, and in fact my life has generally improved as a result.

So if the person I am referring to is reading this post, know this – I value you for who you are already, without any of your possessions, vocations, status, or obsessions. It’s all meaningless to me, these worldly things. You’re a brother to me who doesn’t need to lie about things to attain my friendship. You already are an awesome person without any requirement for my approval. You don’t have to show off your accomplishments unless it’s something you truly are passionate or care about that you would like to genuinely share – if that’s the case I’d certainly like to know about it with the goal of understanding you more. You don’t have to struggle with the cascade of lies you might be tempted to generate to create a facade that everyone does see right through anyway.

But know this – if you lie to me deliberately, even once, the time for trust will be over. I can be compassionate still, be civil, and be nice, but true friendships require trust and accountability. If you lie, trust is done – and a true friendship is no longer possible.

If that’s what you want, you don’t even have to tell me – I will discover it with my own eyes and ears.

However it’s my hope that you actually value our friendship, and will not allow pride to destroy it, along with the rest of your life.