In recent months I’ve gotten comments about how I used my Facebook, and the kind of information I post on there. Usually these comments are things like, “how come you don’t post anything personal on there,” or “you’re on the down low.” I’ve noticed an interesting trend about these comments.

The people who usually have these kinds of remarks are usually one of 2 kinds of people:

1. those who are graduated into the regular ennui of nuclear family life and have deprioritized regular real interaction with me into what they believe should be quality personal information coming from my facebook feed (after all, those 700 baby pics from the last year represent their quality personal social media output, right?)
2. other people who usually have strong opinions they need to blast on facebook and wonder why I don’t act in the same (pompous) way

So, to get this straight – I value social media for what it is, a great way to keep in touch with people both close and distant, spatially and relationally. The truth of the matter however is that social media’s use (namely facebook & instagram, these days) varies widely across the social strata and is largely an output mechanism for self-promotion. It’s something of a drug to the swaths of people who cannot help but satiate their desires to broadcast snippets of their exciting lives to the world. 99% of the time, it’s actually not that exciting AT ALL. I see it in the silly posts about political or personal agendas and quips about what is right and wrong, countless updates on where someone is and what they’re doing or eating, in their mini-soapbox tirades or monologues that get blasted into an audience they believe truly cares, in their subtle passive-aggressive ways to demonstrate that they are advancing in their careers, lives, or goals, and thousands of other little needles of thumb-scrolling narcissistic images. Like, bro, do you think I really care that you are telling me about your motivational business speeches online? Really? 

If one scrapes beneath the surface, one can really determine a lot about the true character of a person based on their social media output. The more one puts out, the more one can tell, naturally. But it’s a subtle nuance in the quality of their output that reveals so much about one’s character online. What I’ve noticed is that generally the more self-promoting one is online, and I’m talking excessive baby pics, possessions, things basically (yes babies are treated as things largely the way they’re posted online these days) – the more bored they are, the more conceited they are, or an annoying combination of both. If you’re reading this and you’re one of those people, I’m sorry, put something that’s entertaining, or relationally informative and useful out there if you want me to follow you. I don’t care about your house, car, or latest toy. I really could care less about things. 

What I do love seeing is the real stuff when it pops up every once in awhile. I love seeing friends in photographs together, doing cool things. I love announcements of special occasions, celebrations, and the cheering on of relationships. I love seeing the who, not the what on my social media feed. I could care less about your brand new Lexus or your daughter’s private school education. Really, post too many of those and you run the risk of losing my attention and possibly my online friendship. And ohhhhh what a big deal it is when someone gets DEFRIENDED online, right? lol.

I’m going to write here now a little secret of mine, that those of you close to me will know already – but may come as a small surprise if you’re one of those thing-posters that I have been talking about. Here’s my twist on this whole social media nonsense. Because of the intrinsic narcissistic nature of social media, I have been employing my own creative outputs online. I call it disinformative posting. It’s an orphan sister of disinformation. While it’s not exactly lying, disinformative posting is a deliberate, intentional output of social media posting that causes those who don’t know me so well to wonder about who I am online and in real life. I check in deliberately to places where I know some friends will be close by, but to others, might be wondering why I am in so many places so frequently. I have a girlfriend I love of 2 years, but you wouldn’t know it if the only way you knew me was on social media- I value our privacy and keep my true personal life what it should be – personal. I post thought-provoking or funny comments with the intention of evoking interesting conversation and relational interaction. I fight the urge to rant online (that’s why I have this blog, lol).

So know this – what you see on my facebook and instagram is deliberately programmed information for your eyes on Peter Hwang. If you have taken the time to get to truly know me, the junk I post online is just cream on the top of the cake. For those of you who think that you can know me just by lazily checking your feed, well, enjoy the cream. 🙂